Intamacy Issues

A couple of weeks ago I made one of those classic preacher bloopers. You know the kind of thing that comes out of your mouth seeming so innocent, but makes your face turn the color of a fire truck when your brain realizes what you just said. The text for the day was Matthew 5 and we were talking about safeguarding our marriages so we would be the salt and light Jesus instructs us to be in our worlds.

I had been working on an acrostic for the word GIFTS as something spouses could give to each other. I had good ideas for G, F, T, & S, but was stuck on the “I”. My wife and a friend were in the office doing some work for an upcoming event and I asked for their input. Immediately my wife’s friend, Ann Marie, suggested Intimacy for the “I” of my acrostic. I was overjoyed having completed the acronym, and thanked them for their help. That Sunday as I got to that part of the talk, I wanted to give credit for the help I had been given so I thanked Ann Marie for her help in filling out my acrostic. If I would have stopped there, things would have been fine, but I didn’t. When I got to Intimacy in my acrostic I said, “And I’d like to thank Ann Marie for giving me Intimacy this week.”

You could have heard a marshmallow fall into a down quilt. It was so quiet every where except inside my head. A moment later I tried to back up but it was too late the snickers started and they gave way to laughter and in short order I just had to move on to the “F” as there was no hope of redeeming anything from Intimacy, at least in that moment and with that group of people

Well here’s my point in all this…it’s what I didn’t get out (I was too busy laughing myself) about intimacy. The idea behind the word is having nothing between two people. It means not wearing a mask, putting up a barrier, or placing anything between you and another. While it’s not practical or even wise to have this kind of emotional transparency with everyone, it should be the goal in our marriage relationships. Unfortunately too many people wear too many masks, have too many barriers, and have placed so many things between them and their spouses that there is little if any real chance of intimacy ever taking place.

The answer is learning to trust someone enough to be real in their presence. No masks, barriers, or smokescreens just being the person you are and trusting others enough to accept and love you in spite of all that you are. If we are really honest most of us would admit that we’re not transparent with people, even our spouses, because we’re afraid of how they’ll respond if we are. And the saddest truth in all this is that these feelings carry over into our relationship with God. Just like Adam and Eve in the garden we try to hide from God. We put on masks of religion, or try to distance ourselves from Him with questions, all because we are afraid we can not trust God with the real us.

Let me share a part of one of David’s Psalm’s about trust…It’s worth a read


3 But when I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 4 O God, I praise your word. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me? ...13 For you have rescued me from death; you have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light

Ps 56:1-13 (NLT)

David discovered that he could be totally transparent with God because God can be trusted with the real us. I hope that you discover that God can be trusted with the real you. And I hope that you discover real intimacy with those closest to you.

Pressing On:
Dale